paraprosdokian

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
4. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
8. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
9. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
10. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
11. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?